Week One of Chemo
Here it is Monday morning, a wet Monday morning too. I am still shocked that my insides haven't erupted like they would do on Alimta and carboplatin so am in a good place mentally with the chemotherapy, although those lingering thoughts of 'is it actually doing something' are in the back ground of my mind.
My tongue has turned with more white spots, I guess the thrush tablets haven't done their job properly and I need a little more help. When I had antibiotics due to the endometriosis, thrush was a regular occurrence but I haven't had it since chemo, I hate it because getting on top of it is hard, as well as the risk of it going down the oesophagus and into the stomach, which means no food or drink for me.
Friday the nurse came and did my dressing and I didn't notice it wasn't taped as tightly as it should. On Saturday afternoon, feeling a little wiped out I had a nap. Waking up with the wet head and soaking hair my hand touched my stomach, the T Shirt was soaking. I thought I had sprang a leak from my drain, the colour instantly drained from my face I can tell you.
Lifting the top the patch was hanging off, the sponge and dressing soaking, my fear, as my stomach felt heavy, was that the water had egressed slowly around the pipe and back into the abdomen. I don't know whether this is possible but will need to ask today. I had no choice but to change the whole the thing but am a little worried in case the water did creep back over. My stomach has felt slightly heavier but then there is fluid in their too. Something else to worry about from now on, always make sure I check the dressing before stepping under the shower!
I spent most of Sunday on the computer, firstly watching a program on asbestos in Australia, very interesting, then I worked on the book format. I need to double check some things, especially where I have italics but otherwise its ready for the printers. I hope I can get them done before Christmas as it would make a nice gift for some friends, nothing like own publicity is there!
Gary woke yesterday really run down, not sure whether he has a cold creeping back on or just totally worn out physically and emotionally. He tried to have a nap but the phone kept ringing, typical when some one needs a shut eye. I don't think it helps that men can't think or concentrate on more than one event in their lives and with his mother now having ovarian cancer this is bringing him to his knees.
His mother was discharged from hospital late Saturday afternoon. I thought this a little early, I know when I had just my hysterectomy I had surgery on Thursday and came home Sunday but his mam is 79 plus they removed cancer mass from her lower stomach. No district nurse has been assigned either and she is expected to inject herself and check the wounds. Surely this isn't right, we spoke at length with her yesterday but she was adamant that no help was offered. Unfortunately, we don't have her doctors name so can't phone on her behalf, just hope his Dad gets into action today and rings the surgery.
Have organised my surgery to do my bloods for chemo, they want to do them today so hopefully the District Nurse will be able to take the sample rather than me facing the freezing cold and rain outside. Although I really could do with a hair cut! I was hoping that maybe we could nip to the doctors then drive to the hairdressers and see if they could quickly trim my hair. I think, looking at the weather, that is a no as well.
I was planning on my understudy coming today, but she rang yesterday to say she has pulled her back, us girls aren't that great with our backs. At work we just grab heavy files and boxes of files without thinking, always bending and putting them on shelves etc. Am sure everyone in accounts has a bad back! I wonder if this is office based wide, although I never seem to see many of the men with them. I have sent her my physio name as I think he is really good and hopefully will have her sorted in no time. Back pain is terrible, knowing Claire she too will have turned up for work, which I hope she hasn't, as it won't do her any good being in a chair over the computer.
So today is another long running day, I have become used to sitting in front of the computer for a few hours each morning before draining and showering. I may even try and go back upstairs for a shower as the thermostat downstairs on the shower isn't that hot. Now with the colder weather coming the water doesn't seem as hot and takes forever to come through. It's just those stairs, I feel like my legs weigh a ton trying to lift them up each stair. You take things for granted, like going up and down stairs, since all this drain thing started I have only done them once a day, one down on a morning and one up to bed. Going to bed I have to hold on to the banister and take one step slowly at a time, also stopping on each landing to take a breath. If I can do this again then I am moving forward.
My chest this morning felt like a large iron cage was resting around my ribs, it was quite hard to get some air in, but once I sat and took several slow breaths I managed to relax the lungs and start filling with oxygen. I do need to learn not to bend down but to bend at my knees! That will teach me for stroking the dog this morning.
So had better get moving, hubby is has come down, still looks like death warmed up, hopefully though he will pick up today. He is drained himself, wish there was something I could do to take the pressure off him, maybe a magic wand to clear meso out of our lives would do it.
